Hiking the Andes Mountains in "I Have a Death Wish" Footwear

So, if you know anything about the Andes Mountains, you know that they are the longest mountain range in the world, spanning seven South American countries. More significantly for this post, this range also contains a few of the highest peaks in the world. My trip to South America was not complete without resplendent views of these stunning masterpieces of creation. I could use adjectives such as "stunning," "mesmerizing," or "awesome," but they would remain inadequate unless and until you find yourself in the tiny village of Vilcabamba, surrounded on all sides by them. Truly a sight to behold. However, merely beholding them was just not good enough for us despite the fact that none of are mountain climbers, or even really interested in a mere hike. Yet, when the opportunity presented itself one day to traipse through said mountain range, we jumped on it. In flip-flops.

We were out innocently visiting the equator (in and of itself another adventure) when we stumbled upon the possibility of taking a side trip to a volcanic crater. The only issue was that to view such a crater, we had to climb about 4000 meters into the moutain. Now, this may not seem like much, but we had major footwear concerns. However,  when we voiced these concerns to our guide, he assured us "no problema." Unconvinced, but foolhardy, we started out. It started out fine enough- nice grassy patches, beetles, and giant piles of dung to lull us into the false impression that this was just like strolling through pastoral farmland. A bit later, all of these nice things were replaced with loose gravel, sheer drop-offs, and windy conditions. In my humble opinion, these are all potential "problemas." Perhaps our guide was a mountain goat in his previous life, because he did not seem the least bit concerned for our safety. He simply forged on ahead and it remained on us to keep up with him and the group. Furthermore, the little clump of weeds that we eventually found ourselves clutching for dear life, did nothing for our sense of safety. It only reinforced the reality that flip-flops in the Andes are not what the guide book recommends. While this little episode could probably make the cut for TLC's "What NOT to Wear," the view (albeit a foggy one) was well worth the risk of death or disfigurement. This is not to say that my heart was not pounding and that I was not practically hugging that rock with the weed clump, but the Andes Mountains are a spectacle not to be missed, regardless of your footwear.