Yup, I just proved it yesterday with one click of the mouse on Expedia.com. After days and days and days of searching high and low across the world wide web, I essentially threw out restraint, said "cheap fares be damned" and determined that my sunny disposition was desperately needed in the Sunshine state. The closer it got to my intended travel dates and I still didn't have the blessed confirmation of travel email in my inbox, the grumpier and more miserable I became.
Ask my husband. Ask my students. Ask anyone forced to interact with me on a daily basis when I haven't gotten a travel fix. I nearly reposted "My Love/Hate Relationship With Your Travel Blog" as my way of shaking my fist at all you lovely travel bloggers out there whose blogs I haven't been reading because I figured it is much better when I keep the grumpiness to myself.
Do I have a problem? Mmmm. Perhaps. My happiness doesn't totally hinge on travel. After all, I have a pretty awesome husband, a job that makes me want to get up every morning, and a tiny unborn gymnast who, as of late, has been making her every move known. (On a side note, I think that she bodyslams herself against the nice cushiony walls of her little watery home sometimes. And the bodyslam is complete with a running start. Seriously, what is she doing in there?!)
But back to my happiness. While it doesn't hinge on travel, it is pretty darn important to me. As I have said a million times before, the journey doesn't mean a trip to the Congo or a safari on the Serengeti. Those activities are awesome, but the adventure is what and where you make it. Haven't I already been to Florida? Yeah. But never with Adam, never to Ft. Myers, and never to do the things we are planning on doing. So it's all brand new to me!
So with one little mouse click, the clouds parted, the sunshine shone, the smile returned, and I overpaid by a few hundred dollars.
(Thanks Shivya at A Shooting Star for inspiring this post title!)
Monday, February 27, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Murphy's Law Strikes Again
I have learned another valuable Murphy lesson this week, It's one that is no surprise to even a novice traveler, so clearly I should have known better. Actually, I did know better.
I waited to buy an airline ticket.
YOU NEVER WAIT WHEN THE PRICE IS DOWN!
Murphy's Law of the Obvious states that if you wait to purchase a plane ticket until 1) you have the money or 2) you have a place to stay or 3) you pay off a bill or 4) you think the price will go lower, the price will most assuredly skyrocket to epic levels never before seen for that particular route.
Hmmmpffff.
As you know from my last post, I want to take a trip pre-baby. I finally settled on Florida, but not Miami. I ruled out places like San Francisco and New Orleans because if I go there, I am going to want to explore as much as possible and fill up every moment with something. Judging by my performance traipsing around DC this past weekend, I will be lucky to still be breathing without the aid of a portable oxygen tank by that point in this pregnancy. So, a location that isn't begging to be explored is paramount. Fort Myers fits the bill nicely, due to friends with places to stay, the simulataneous ongoing baseball spring training, and the proximity to the Everglades. Perfect. All that is left to do is buy two tickets. And last week, I found two at $191 each. Amazing price. Did I buy them? No.
Yeah, I was trying to be responsible, ensuring that we had a place to stay first, ensuring that we got our security deposit back from the rental first, ensuring that our first mortgage payment was paid first. Ensuring, Ensuring, Ensuring.
See? That pesky mortgage is getting in the way already!
Anyway, you can likely see where this is going. The price is now somewhere near $400 a piece, and I refuse to purchase a domestic plane ticket for more than I have paid to fly to some Central and South American countries. I HAVE PRINCIPLES!
But I sincerely hope those principles don't find me at home twiddling my thumbs instead of enjoying the sunny warmth of Florida.
So now I am scouring every website I know, entering every combo of dates possible, desperately to see something back in the 200 range.
Oh $191 from IAD to RSW, you were but a fleeting dream. I thank you for reinforcing a valuable travel lesson.
Throw caution to the wind and just click purchase, for heaven's sake!
I waited to buy an airline ticket.
YOU NEVER WAIT WHEN THE PRICE IS DOWN!
Murphy's Law of the Obvious states that if you wait to purchase a plane ticket until 1) you have the money or 2) you have a place to stay or 3) you pay off a bill or 4) you think the price will go lower, the price will most assuredly skyrocket to epic levels never before seen for that particular route.
Hmmmpffff.
As you know from my last post, I want to take a trip pre-baby. I finally settled on Florida, but not Miami. I ruled out places like San Francisco and New Orleans because if I go there, I am going to want to explore as much as possible and fill up every moment with something. Judging by my performance traipsing around DC this past weekend, I will be lucky to still be breathing without the aid of a portable oxygen tank by that point in this pregnancy. So, a location that isn't begging to be explored is paramount. Fort Myers fits the bill nicely, due to friends with places to stay, the simulataneous ongoing baseball spring training, and the proximity to the Everglades. Perfect. All that is left to do is buy two tickets. And last week, I found two at $191 each. Amazing price. Did I buy them? No.
Yeah, I was trying to be responsible, ensuring that we had a place to stay first, ensuring that we got our security deposit back from the rental first, ensuring that our first mortgage payment was paid first. Ensuring, Ensuring, Ensuring.
See? That pesky mortgage is getting in the way already!
Anyway, you can likely see where this is going. The price is now somewhere near $400 a piece, and I refuse to purchase a domestic plane ticket for more than I have paid to fly to some Central and South American countries. I HAVE PRINCIPLES!
But I sincerely hope those principles don't find me at home twiddling my thumbs instead of enjoying the sunny warmth of Florida.
So now I am scouring every website I know, entering every combo of dates possible, desperately to see something back in the 200 range.
Oh $191 from IAD to RSW, you were but a fleeting dream. I thank you for reinforcing a valuable travel lesson.
Throw caution to the wind and just click purchase, for heaven's sake!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
I'm Back and I'm Blogging
Despite the dramatic way in which 2011 ended, 2012 thus far has been relatively drama-free, if not mundane. No, not mundane. Anything but, actually. I will start with the last day of 2011 in which we found out the gender of the child within. The conversation went something like this:
Ultrasound technician (UT): It sure looks like a girl.
Me: Excuse me?
UT: I am pretty sure it's a girl.
Me: It can't be. It's a boy. I have known its a boy since a week after I found out I was pregnant.
UT: Well, I will keep looking to be sure. But I'm pretty sure it's a girl.
Me: How long have you been in this line of work?
UT: About a year.
Me: Hmmm.
UT: There's always a chance I could be wrong! But probably not.
Me:
UT: Yes, it's a girl.
Meanwhile, Adam is smirking the biggest smirk I have ever seen him smirk. And he's jubilant.
I am in shock. I mean, my maternal instinct has clearly just failed me on levels of epic proportions. So there ya have it. It's a girl. And once I got over the disbelief of being wrong, Adam pointed out that I now have a little me to raise and I will now have a sidekick on all my adventures.
In other news, I got a new laptop and am back on the internet after 6 weeks without. Thanks Thief, hope you meet up with a nasty stiletto somewhere in life. But Christmas came in January when I discovered that I had uploaded every last one of my Tanzania pictures to Snapfish! There were some China and Mexico pictures and a smattering of other countries on there as well, which was some vindication after losing EVERYTHING to the Thief. I practically started shouting and dancing in the middle of 4th period when I discovered it. My students were taking a test, so I figured I better not.
We also moved into our new house and are busy assuming the responsibilities of home ownership.
More importantly, I am in DIRE need of a trip. As in, I start to twitch when I read other blogs. So I am planning one for pre-baby. It will be stateside with the husband, and I am open to any and all suggestions. On the list so far:
Seattle (but apparently it's too rainy in March when I want to go)
San Diego
Miami and the Everglades
San Francisco
Puerto Rico (qualifies as stateside)
If you have suggestions, by all means, share them!
Ultrasound technician (UT): It sure looks like a girl.
Me: Excuse me?
UT: I am pretty sure it's a girl.
Me: It can't be. It's a boy. I have known its a boy since a week after I found out I was pregnant.
UT: Well, I will keep looking to be sure. But I'm pretty sure it's a girl.
Me: How long have you been in this line of work?
UT: About a year.
Me: Hmmm.
UT: There's always a chance I could be wrong! But probably not.
Me:
UT: Yes, it's a girl.
Meanwhile, Adam is smirking the biggest smirk I have ever seen him smirk. And he's jubilant.
I am in shock. I mean, my maternal instinct has clearly just failed me on levels of epic proportions. So there ya have it. It's a girl. And once I got over the disbelief of being wrong, Adam pointed out that I now have a little me to raise and I will now have a sidekick on all my adventures.
In other news, I got a new laptop and am back on the internet after 6 weeks without. Thanks Thief, hope you meet up with a nasty stiletto somewhere in life. But Christmas came in January when I discovered that I had uploaded every last one of my Tanzania pictures to Snapfish! There were some China and Mexico pictures and a smattering of other countries on there as well, which was some vindication after losing EVERYTHING to the Thief. I practically started shouting and dancing in the middle of 4th period when I discovered it. My students were taking a test, so I figured I better not.
We also moved into our new house and are busy assuming the responsibilities of home ownership.
More importantly, I am in DIRE need of a trip. As in, I start to twitch when I read other blogs. So I am planning one for pre-baby. It will be stateside with the husband, and I am open to any and all suggestions. On the list so far:
Seattle (but apparently it's too rainy in March when I want to go)
San Diego
Miami and the Everglades
San Francisco
Puerto Rico (qualifies as stateside)
If you have suggestions, by all means, share them!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Identity Theft
I have traveled 'round the world and the unthinkable has never, ever, happened to me. "Unthinkable" when traveling, could be anything-stolen/lost passport, getting lost, finding out you have no place to sleep when you land, or losing all of your pictures. I have been fortunate to depart and return, unscathed.
Which is why, the following incident has me so pissed off.
Last week, in the comfort and safety of my very own home, a person of ill will , chose to enter and take things that did not belong to them. Making them a thief, and us victims of their audacity.
One of those things was my laptop. My laptop that had nearly every photo I have ever taken of every country I have ever visited and every trip I have ever taken. Turkey, Nicaragua, China, Tanzania, just to name a few. All gone. When I discovered it, I felt as if someone had punched me in the face, then in the gut, then stomped on me.
My laptop had everything, everything on it. And no, I had no external hard drive to back things up, because that would have been the smart thing to do. I went about the next few days alternating between feeling angry and ill, with the ever-present insecurity of wondering if they are going to come back and do it again.
It's been a fun past few weeks, let me tell ya.
When I had time to process it, I decided that someone might as well have just stolen my identity. Because that is, in part, what my photos mean to me. I am very proud of my ventures around the world. They have made me who I am today. From the first trip to Israel, to the most recent in Nicaragua, I have been formed, shaped, molded by the things I have seen and done. My photos were my hard-copy memories, "proof" that I have seen the world and been changed by it.
Call me shallow, call me dependent on material things, call me whatever. But I've been pretty mad.
I have some stuff on Facebook, which helps ease the sting of my life in photos disappearing in the span of what probably amounted to a five minute job on my house. I have a few CD's of photos that I made pre-Facebook. Everything else is gone, probably already wiped off the hard drive so the thief can do whatever it is with my laptop they so desperately needed to have for themselves.
I have come to accept it, but I am not alright with it. A little perspective helps too. I have a roof over my head, I have my husband, and we are fine. With the exception of memories, every item that was taken is replaceable. Nobody was physically hurt, and we learned a valuable lesson. Worse things could have happened, and worse things DO happen every single day. Thankfully, one of those worse things didn't happen to us.
And now, since the link to my blog was a bookmark on my laptop, perhaps the thief has at least broadened their horizons to the world and is enjoying some leisure reading. So this one is for you, Thief.
Dear Person of Ill Repute Who Did Not Learn the Kindergarten Lesson of not Taking what doesn't Belong to You:
The laptop you stole was four years old, the screen isn't original, and the battery only holds a charge for a whopping 14 minutes. The new cord I bought for it probably won't last much longer, either.
The hotspot device you thoughtfully took to ensure you would be able to access the internet with my laptop. Really? You had to have known that the service would be cut off immediately. Enjoy the paperweight.
You left the charger behind for the camera you stole, so unless you can find another one to steal, you will probably have to actually pay for that. (*gasp!*)
I will leave the other items unmentioned, because you have either already used them or broken them. If you try to pawn them, we will find out your dirty little secret, so maybe best steer clear of the pawn shops.
Above all else, I hope you realize you were wrong and do something to make up for it. Maybe not to us, but to someone. Else, it will come back to you, in one way or another, one day. God, whether you believe in Him or not, does not and will not honor what you did.
That is a guarantee.
Also, if you come back, I have a 4 inch stiletto that my mother disdainfully refers to as my "lady of the night" shoes and I will not hesitate to use it somewhere on your body.
Hey, I had to get resourceful. You took everything else!
Which is why, the following incident has me so pissed off.
Last week, in the comfort and safety of my very own home, a person of ill will , chose to enter and take things that did not belong to them. Making them a thief, and us victims of their audacity.
One of those things was my laptop. My laptop that had nearly every photo I have ever taken of every country I have ever visited and every trip I have ever taken. Turkey, Nicaragua, China, Tanzania, just to name a few. All gone. When I discovered it, I felt as if someone had punched me in the face, then in the gut, then stomped on me.
My laptop had everything, everything on it. And no, I had no external hard drive to back things up, because that would have been the smart thing to do. I went about the next few days alternating between feeling angry and ill, with the ever-present insecurity of wondering if they are going to come back and do it again.
It's been a fun past few weeks, let me tell ya.
When I had time to process it, I decided that someone might as well have just stolen my identity. Because that is, in part, what my photos mean to me. I am very proud of my ventures around the world. They have made me who I am today. From the first trip to Israel, to the most recent in Nicaragua, I have been formed, shaped, molded by the things I have seen and done. My photos were my hard-copy memories, "proof" that I have seen the world and been changed by it.
Call me shallow, call me dependent on material things, call me whatever. But I've been pretty mad.
I have some stuff on Facebook, which helps ease the sting of my life in photos disappearing in the span of what probably amounted to a five minute job on my house. I have a few CD's of photos that I made pre-Facebook. Everything else is gone, probably already wiped off the hard drive so the thief can do whatever it is with my laptop they so desperately needed to have for themselves.
I have come to accept it, but I am not alright with it. A little perspective helps too. I have a roof over my head, I have my husband, and we are fine. With the exception of memories, every item that was taken is replaceable. Nobody was physically hurt, and we learned a valuable lesson. Worse things could have happened, and worse things DO happen every single day. Thankfully, one of those worse things didn't happen to us.
And now, since the link to my blog was a bookmark on my laptop, perhaps the thief has at least broadened their horizons to the world and is enjoying some leisure reading. So this one is for you, Thief.
Dear Person of Ill Repute Who Did Not Learn the Kindergarten Lesson of not Taking what doesn't Belong to You:
The laptop you stole was four years old, the screen isn't original, and the battery only holds a charge for a whopping 14 minutes. The new cord I bought for it probably won't last much longer, either.
The hotspot device you thoughtfully took to ensure you would be able to access the internet with my laptop. Really? You had to have known that the service would be cut off immediately. Enjoy the paperweight.
You left the charger behind for the camera you stole, so unless you can find another one to steal, you will probably have to actually pay for that. (*gasp!*)
I will leave the other items unmentioned, because you have either already used them or broken them. If you try to pawn them, we will find out your dirty little secret, so maybe best steer clear of the pawn shops.
Above all else, I hope you realize you were wrong and do something to make up for it. Maybe not to us, but to someone. Else, it will come back to you, in one way or another, one day. God, whether you believe in Him or not, does not and will not honor what you did.
That is a guarantee.
Also, if you come back, I have a 4 inch stiletto that my mother disdainfully refers to as my "lady of the night" shoes and I will not hesitate to use it somewhere on your body.
Hey, I had to get resourceful. You took everything else!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Guest Post: Has Your Travel Bug Bitten Yet?
The following is a guest post by Kate, a reader who reached out to me and asked if I would consider hosting. When I saw what she had in mind, I didn't think twice, as just days prior I had found out some news on a little stick and was in the midst of freaking out. Her post was a little bit of a relief/reality check for me and I am happy to share it with all you. Enjoy!
I do think that you should only regret the things you've haven’t done as opposed to those that you have. I try to not to miss opportunities to do things when I can because I hate regretting anything.
Unfortunately travelling is one area where I do have big regrets. There is part of me now that wishes I’d made more effort to travel when I was young, carefree, didn’t have a mortgage to pay, little mouths to feed, and rocked a bikini! (Well, at least I looked better in one then than I do now).
I now feel that my poor Passport has been well and truly neglected. The travel bug never really caught up with me in my younger days. I didn’t feel the compulsion to grab a backpack and go off trekking around the world after I finished college/university like most of my friends.
I had different priorities at the time (which I don’t regret because my life would be very different otherwise). I met my husband at 19, we bought our first house, got married a couple of years later and I carried on studying until I was 26. By the time I’d finished my degree, diploma and professional training we were both itching to start a family, and now here we are.
Now, I have the most responsibility I've ever had in my whole life, a husband, two small people, a dog, a house and a sizeable mortgage to go with it, and a new business.
Never have I felt the urge to drag my suitcase out of the loft as strongly as I do now. My travel bug has finally arrived. It’s taken its time, but it’s here! And do you know why it’s arrived now, of all times?
It's mostly because of those little people I gave birth to. I’m raring to pack our suitcases, get out there and show them the world. They see everything so differently to us. They are astonished by the simplest of things. New places are far more impressive and exciting when you discover them with toddlers. Toddlers don’t rush. They take in the most microscopic detail of places and objects and if something looks good, they eat it! Although, that’s something I won’t be encouraging so much of, unless it’s tasty looking food.
And that’s exactly why I want to get out there right now. I want to visit as many places, countries and continents as we can while they’re still innocent enough to see all good in people and before they become tainted by politics, religions and other controversies. I know they actually have a lot to teach me. They help me to see things from a totally new perspective.
There’s been a few moments lately, that have also made me realise that I’m really eager to take them out into that big wide world so that they have an education, aside from that sat behind a desk at school. Yes, I know there’s a lot for them to learn there, probably most importantly social skills and interacting with their peers. But I think the actual skills learnt by travelling are hugely under estimated by a lot of people.
One thing I have learnt is that life experience is worth a lot. As is, experiencing lots of different cultures, customs and traditions. Not only knowing what these customs and traditions are and what happens, but truly understanding them. I don't think there's any better way to do that than to meet people who practice and believe in those customs etc, really get to know them and understand their way of life.
So, these little people are the reason that my travel bug has arrived (very unfashionably late). Unfortunately, they’re also the reason that our ability to go off travelling is severely hampered. Our income has been dramatically slashed during the last 3 years while I’ve had long periods of maternity leave. Our living costs are now the highest they’ve ever been and now, NOW I’m feeling the biggest urge in my whole life to go travelling. The irony is not lost on me!
I have also learnt a lot since having the first of the little ones 3 years ago. I now appreciate that, while enjoyed the holidays I had in my younger days immensely, the ones where I took time to chat to, and get to know the locals have much more significance than those where I just went and lay on a beach for a week. Those holidays might well have been exactly what I needed at the time but there were definitely some missed opportunities there to see more of the countries I visited, find out more about the people, and the photos I took, aside from one or two lucky shots, were also extremely rubbish!
Now I want to make up for that. I want to show my children the big wide world to make the most of this travel bug while it’s sticking around. Plus, they’re all packed and ready to go!
Kate is a proud mum of two tiny tearaways and a keen writer who works with the likes of Electric Dialogue and No 1 Traveller, a UK luxury airport lounge company.
I do think that you should only regret the things you've haven’t done as opposed to those that you have. I try to not to miss opportunities to do things when I can because I hate regretting anything. Unfortunately travelling is one area where I do have big regrets. There is part of me now that wishes I’d made more effort to travel when I was young, carefree, didn’t have a mortgage to pay, little mouths to feed, and rocked a bikini! (Well, at least I looked better in one then than I do now).
I now feel that my poor Passport has been well and truly neglected. The travel bug never really caught up with me in my younger days. I didn’t feel the compulsion to grab a backpack and go off trekking around the world after I finished college/university like most of my friends.
I had different priorities at the time (which I don’t regret because my life would be very different otherwise). I met my husband at 19, we bought our first house, got married a couple of years later and I carried on studying until I was 26. By the time I’d finished my degree, diploma and professional training we were both itching to start a family, and now here we are.
Now, I have the most responsibility I've ever had in my whole life, a husband, two small people, a dog, a house and a sizeable mortgage to go with it, and a new business.
Never have I felt the urge to drag my suitcase out of the loft as strongly as I do now. My travel bug has finally arrived. It’s taken its time, but it’s here! And do you know why it’s arrived now, of all times?
It's mostly because of those little people I gave birth to. I’m raring to pack our suitcases, get out there and show them the world. They see everything so differently to us. They are astonished by the simplest of things. New places are far more impressive and exciting when you discover them with toddlers. Toddlers don’t rush. They take in the most microscopic detail of places and objects and if something looks good, they eat it! Although, that’s something I won’t be encouraging so much of, unless it’s tasty looking food.
And that’s exactly why I want to get out there right now. I want to visit as many places, countries and continents as we can while they’re still innocent enough to see all good in people and before they become tainted by politics, religions and other controversies. I know they actually have a lot to teach me. They help me to see things from a totally new perspective.
There’s been a few moments lately, that have also made me realise that I’m really eager to take them out into that big wide world so that they have an education, aside from that sat behind a desk at school. Yes, I know there’s a lot for them to learn there, probably most importantly social skills and interacting with their peers. But I think the actual skills learnt by travelling are hugely under estimated by a lot of people.
One thing I have learnt is that life experience is worth a lot. As is, experiencing lots of different cultures, customs and traditions. Not only knowing what these customs and traditions are and what happens, but truly understanding them. I don't think there's any better way to do that than to meet people who practice and believe in those customs etc, really get to know them and understand their way of life.
So, these little people are the reason that my travel bug has arrived (very unfashionably late). Unfortunately, they’re also the reason that our ability to go off travelling is severely hampered. Our income has been dramatically slashed during the last 3 years while I’ve had long periods of maternity leave. Our living costs are now the highest they’ve ever been and now, NOW I’m feeling the biggest urge in my whole life to go travelling. The irony is not lost on me!
I have also learnt a lot since having the first of the little ones 3 years ago. I now appreciate that, while enjoyed the holidays I had in my younger days immensely, the ones where I took time to chat to, and get to know the locals have much more significance than those where I just went and lay on a beach for a week. Those holidays might well have been exactly what I needed at the time but there were definitely some missed opportunities there to see more of the countries I visited, find out more about the people, and the photos I took, aside from one or two lucky shots, were also extremely rubbish!
Now I want to make up for that. I want to show my children the big wide world to make the most of this travel bug while it’s sticking around. Plus, they’re all packed and ready to go!
Kate is a proud mum of two tiny tearaways and a keen writer who works with the likes of Electric Dialogue and No 1 Traveller, a UK luxury airport lounge company.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
This Spring, the Ultimate Journey Begins
Last spring, I was pretty excited about spending half the summer in Nicaragua volunteering, eating delicious food, making new friends, having revelations about my travel self, and doing cool things. All of the above was accomplished and I feel pretty lucky to have had such an experience.
This spring, I can top that journey. Guaranteed.
It's gonna be quite the epic trip. It will cost tons of money, I won't be booking a return ticket, and it's completely uncharted territory for me.
Umm....I am gonna have a baby.
True story.
I have known since early September, but I have been much too busy attempting to wrap my head around the fact that I will be someone's mother to tell anybody anything.
You see, I have never been the girl who spent her free hours daydreaming of her wedding, her Prince Charming, and the babies they would have together. Quite the opposite, actually. I spent most of my time delaying all of those things and instead, traipsing off to lands near and far and daydreaming of those, instead. To compound matters, the level of repulsion I feel for the acts of childbirth and breastfeeding (yes, this blog just went there) is nearly absurd. I might have a phobia or something. Please don't write and tell me how beautiful they are, because quite simply, they are not. I am fully aware that both are necessary and life-giving, but to me, both are barbaric, savage and well, just plain gross.
So what finally pushed me over the edge into pregnancy and impending motherhood?
Let's be honest and tell the truth. When the idea of spending half the summer in Nicaragua occurred to me, I delicately broached the subject with the husband, who, didn't bat an eyelash when responding: "I would be pretty OK with you going if when you came back we could start trying to have a kid."
So yeah, I exchanged my uterus for summertime in Nicaragua. Don't judge me. Besides, I needed something to force me to make the plunge. I am 31 now, I would have probably hemmed and hawed over this for as long as humanly possible if I didn't have motivation. I went, I saw, I did, I returned, and now, NOW, the remaining part of the bargain is in full swing. When May comes, I will be a mother.
But nothing could prepare me for the moment when I looked at the plus signs on the multiple pregnancy tests and stared, in shock. Because really, nothing can prep you for that moment. Shock is where I remained for two days. On the third day, I cried the ugly cry, convinced my life was over and that I would never travel again and my poor passport would die a tortuous death. On the fourth day, I decided that I was angry and called a best friend and let loose a string of profanity that would push both of my living and healthy grandmothers much closer to the grave. On the fifth day, I woke up feel utterly peaceful and named him. (I am convinced it's a boy).
Since that fifth morning, I am still adjusting. I am no longer cursing at my friends (God bless them) or in shock, but this is big for me and thank God it takes babies 40 weeks to develop. I need every single one of those weeks. I swing from peaceful acceptance, to resigned acceptance, convinced that my traveling days are over, that I will become irrelevant, that I will cease to be me and enjoy the things that make me "me."
Some people have the maternal glow, the joyous anticipation, and ecstasy of knowing they will soon be a parent.
But not everybody does, and I think that's OK.
But here is what I do have: an amazing, supportive, and loving husband who couldn't be happier that we are taking this plunge together. I am beyond blessed to have him. I have a wonderful network of supportive family and friends who get me, and who say "Claire, it's ok to feel the way you do." I also have the blessing of being someone's mother. Although, to be clear, it is that very thing that terrifies me, almost as much as doing the things necessary to deliver a baby.
I have five months to find a more pleasant, dignified, and ladylike method of childbirth.
And you know what? I will travel again. Just not in the third trimester.
This spring, I can top that journey. Guaranteed.
It's gonna be quite the epic trip. It will cost tons of money, I won't be booking a return ticket, and it's completely uncharted territory for me.
Umm....I am gonna have a baby.
True story.
I have known since early September, but I have been much too busy attempting to wrap my head around the fact that I will be someone's mother to tell anybody anything.
You see, I have never been the girl who spent her free hours daydreaming of her wedding, her Prince Charming, and the babies they would have together. Quite the opposite, actually. I spent most of my time delaying all of those things and instead, traipsing off to lands near and far and daydreaming of those, instead. To compound matters, the level of repulsion I feel for the acts of childbirth and breastfeeding (yes, this blog just went there) is nearly absurd. I might have a phobia or something. Please don't write and tell me how beautiful they are, because quite simply, they are not. I am fully aware that both are necessary and life-giving, but to me, both are barbaric, savage and well, just plain gross.
So what finally pushed me over the edge into pregnancy and impending motherhood?
Let's be honest and tell the truth. When the idea of spending half the summer in Nicaragua occurred to me, I delicately broached the subject with the husband, who, didn't bat an eyelash when responding: "I would be pretty OK with you going if when you came back we could start trying to have a kid."
So yeah, I exchanged my uterus for summertime in Nicaragua. Don't judge me. Besides, I needed something to force me to make the plunge. I am 31 now, I would have probably hemmed and hawed over this for as long as humanly possible if I didn't have motivation. I went, I saw, I did, I returned, and now, NOW, the remaining part of the bargain is in full swing. When May comes, I will be a mother.
But nothing could prepare me for the moment when I looked at the plus signs on the multiple pregnancy tests and stared, in shock. Because really, nothing can prep you for that moment. Shock is where I remained for two days. On the third day, I cried the ugly cry, convinced my life was over and that I would never travel again and my poor passport would die a tortuous death. On the fourth day, I decided that I was angry and called a best friend and let loose a string of profanity that would push both of my living and healthy grandmothers much closer to the grave. On the fifth day, I woke up feel utterly peaceful and named him. (I am convinced it's a boy).
Since that fifth morning, I am still adjusting. I am no longer cursing at my friends (God bless them) or in shock, but this is big for me and thank God it takes babies 40 weeks to develop. I need every single one of those weeks. I swing from peaceful acceptance, to resigned acceptance, convinced that my traveling days are over, that I will become irrelevant, that I will cease to be me and enjoy the things that make me "me."
Some people have the maternal glow, the joyous anticipation, and ecstasy of knowing they will soon be a parent.
But not everybody does, and I think that's OK.
But here is what I do have: an amazing, supportive, and loving husband who couldn't be happier that we are taking this plunge together. I am beyond blessed to have him. I have a wonderful network of supportive family and friends who get me, and who say "Claire, it's ok to feel the way you do." I also have the blessing of being someone's mother. Although, to be clear, it is that very thing that terrifies me, almost as much as doing the things necessary to deliver a baby.
I have five months to find a more pleasant, dignified, and ladylike method of childbirth.
And you know what? I will travel again. Just not in the third trimester.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
The Winner, a Tiny Rant, and then I'll Leave You Hanging.
I really need to get in gear on multiple fronts in my life. Not the least of which is to refrain from my leaving all 33 of my readers hanging when it comes to announcing the winner of giveaways. Well, wait no longer. It is American Thanksgiving weekend, the turkey has been consumed (with more coming this evening), the cleaning has been done, the giant television purchased at an ultra-low price during Black Friday shopping, and now, just mere moments ago, the "husband picking the winner's name out of a Ziploc bag" has just been completed.
I should devote an entire post to Black Friday madness in America. Ridiculous. Some people in the world are starving and fighting over rice. Not here. My greedy fellow citizens fight over DVD players and the DVDs that go with them. I love my country, but THIS, this, I cannot condone, identify with, or find humorous. I feel a rant coming on, so I will end it now.
Oh, did you want to know the winner?!
DC Dana, COME ON DOWN!
She writes her own blog, and she lives in, you guessed it, Washington D.C. Anyway, for those of you who didn't win, never fear. You can still visit Reese over at her blog and, conveniently, she has just posted about all the new jewelry she has designed just in time for the holidays. And, she is running a special right now, so get on over there and scope it out!
And finally, you *might* want to check back here Monday for a Giant. Huge. Life-changing. blog post.
I should devote an entire post to Black Friday madness in America. Ridiculous. Some people in the world are starving and fighting over rice. Not here. My greedy fellow citizens fight over DVD players and the DVDs that go with them. I love my country, but THIS, this, I cannot condone, identify with, or find humorous. I feel a rant coming on, so I will end it now.
Oh, did you want to know the winner?!
DC Dana, COME ON DOWN!
She writes her own blog, and she lives in, you guessed it, Washington D.C. Anyway, for those of you who didn't win, never fear. You can still visit Reese over at her blog and, conveniently, she has just posted about all the new jewelry she has designed just in time for the holidays. And, she is running a special right now, so get on over there and scope it out!
And finally, you *might* want to check back here Monday for a Giant. Huge. Life-changing. blog post.
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