Monday, May 30, 2011

On How Marriage is Just Like Traveling

I started thinking about the parallels between marriage and traveling a few weeks ago as I was preparing a toast to give at the wedding of a best friend. The best friend just so happened to be Amanda, map reader extraordinaire.  She caught on to my deplorable map-reading abilities fairly quickly into our first adventure together and well, the rest is history. As she has been a constant travel companion, I knew she would appreciate my references to travel in the toast. It was a wonderful speech indeed---full of memories, encouragement, a few jokes, and even one part spoken all in Spanish. Yup, it was practically the best speech ever.

Best ever, IF I had actually been able to verbalize all of those things. 

That is because I got up in front of everyone and froze. Completely. Froze.

It started out well enough. I said my name, followed by how I knew her. The rest is a blur. All I know is that I couldn't breathe and I felt extremely cold and shivery.  At one point I looked over at her and she nodded encouragingly. The bride should not have to be supporting her matron of honor at such a moment. Geez. Apparently, my primary comfort zone of an audience consists only of 8th graders. Anyway, none of the good stuff I had planned got out. I said a few pithy platitudes, which I am fairly positive included the phrase "I cherish your friendship." Blehh. I hate the word "cherish." It makes me feel.....churlish.

I digress. Here is what I was getting at:

We start out on journeys to lands near and far, and we don't know what  is going to happen between our departure and our return. We can plan all we want, but the truth is, there are just too many variables that are not within our control.  Bad things will probably/definitely happen in some form or fashion, but there are going to be a whole lot more amazing things to make up for it. On any journey, it is best to have a backup plan when things don't go according to vision,  a good friend to call when we are
homesick/sad/broke/freaking out, a rainy day wad of cash, and a clean change of clothes ready for an impromptu adventure out on the town.

Is marriage really any different?

In all of the infinite wisdom I have acquired in my recently minted one official year of marriage, I say nah, it's not really that different.

Congratulations Amanda and Eddie!
And happy first anniversary to my husband. We made it through the "hardest" first year (if I had a dollar for every time I heard that....), on with the rest of them!
These two expressions are interchangeable between us. I often find myself amusing, while he does not, and vice versa.

21 comments:

  1. awwww, claire i LOVE this post... you have me teary at work on a monday morning, ha ha! happy anniversary to you and adam and thanks for a wonderful speech at the wedding :) love ya girl

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  2. awww and you have me teary now!!

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  3. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!! I can hardly believe it has been a year. I remember how beautiful you were and how sweetly Adam watched you come down the aisle. I love your photo - I think your amusing - he probably does and doesn't want to admit it!!! Well, on to year two - the best is yet to come - you guys were made to be together!!

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  4. Very cute! Makes me ready to get married (since I love travelling so much ;) And I also was hit with panic the last time I gave a wedding speech. My knees literally kept hitting eachother uncontrollably, lol. It happens.

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  5. Thanks Mrs. Ladd and Dana!
    No more speeches for me. I clearly cannot handle them.

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  6. great speech...both of them :) and, if marriage is like travelling, and i travel alot w/you girls and depend on you and amanda to make all the plans and arrangements, what am i going to do when i get married?! aagh! sooo i was thinking...maybe y'all can just start now with the planning and arranging...of my wedding?! bc clearly i haven't done anything! o wait, i think i've decided on dallas! i think...

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  7. Lovely post. I wonder what you'd choose if you had to choose one over the other ;) Congrats to your friend!

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  8. nooooooo suubs. we have had our fun, it's all YOU!

    and thanks for stopping by Shivya---I hope I would never have to make such a choice!

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  9. It's like you read my mind! I have to give a speech on Saturday at my sister's wedding and I came over here to do some reading as I just couldn't write it just yet. While I'm not married, I can see how the two would be similar. Thanks for the boost of inspiration too!

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  10. Oh Claire! :-)) I'm so sorry you messed up your speech. But, I'm sure your friend understood. I have the same problem. I associate making speeches with leaving bad voice messages on the phone. I just ramble and ramble.

    However, as a teacher I get straight to the point - go figure! Happy Anniversary Sweetie!

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  11. *shudder* Suzy, good luck with the speech. Hopefully, it turns out better than mine!

    thanks for the well-wishes Reese!

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  12. I think that is a great analogy!!! I've only been married for just over two months, but from what I have already experienced and from what I have been told by many, that really is a good way to describe it. Some downs and surprises, but good that weighs out the rest! Sorry your speech didn't go quite as well as you planned...I dread the day I have to give one for my sister!

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  13. Congrats Emily! It goes by quickly-before you know it, it will be a year for you as well.

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  15. I am not married, but I can certainly understand the parallels. Luckily, I have never had to give a speech at a wedding. I would have to pay someone else to write it, and I would read it directly from my note cards.

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  16. Stephanie, this is precisely what I should have done in the first place.

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  17. I wish I had a friend like that. My navigation skills sucketh.

    Alas, always alone (hint: single, know any nice guys?).

    By the way, you are bloody funny woman, i.e. my primary comfort zone consists of 8th graders. Hehe.

    I wasn't officially married, but was with someone ahhh long time. Now that I've been traveling for a while, your description is eerily true and frankly, the next long term I embark on better have all these elements. :)

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  18. Nomadic Chick....I do know a few single guys. Unfortunately, there are plenty of reasons they are still single! Thanks for thinking I´m funny :=)

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  19. gre8 stuff really nice wrk..well done..keep it up we want more from you thnx

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  20. I love this analogy. Really gave me something to think about- I'm realizing that I should approach relationships the way I approach travel =)

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  21. Thanks Grace. The more I thought about the two most important things in my life, the more I realized there were significant parallels between them.

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